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Creative Commons License
This work by Chumworth is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
April 30, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 3:22 pm UTC

American pop diva Madonna and her British film director lover Guy Ritchie, expecting their first child in September, are close to splitting up, the News of the World Sunday tabloid said. 

Madonna felt “smothered” when Ritchie asked that she refrain from having more children with other men.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 28, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 5:39 am UTC

Cuban President Fidel Castro is accusing the U.S. government of limiting access by Cuban diplomats and classmates to Elian Gonzalez. “There have been nothing but obstacles and difficulties of all kinds,” Castro said.

Castro claimed that the U.S. Coast Guard wouldn't even offer free air refills for their inner tubes on the way to see Elian.

Castro said Cuban physician Caridad Ponce de Leon was not allowed to treat the boy in Maryland. Medications she carried were confiscated by U.S. Customs agents, according to Cuban state television. 

The only “medications” they found on her were a bottle of whiskey and a jar of leeches.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 28, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 3:50 am UTC

NBC has wrapped up the rights to medical megahit “ER” through 2004 by agreeing to pay between $8 million to $9 million per episode.

The key to the deal was that the producers of “ER” had to agree to add Elian Gonzalez to the cast.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 27, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 11:38 am UTC

Late-night TV host Jay Leno was honored on Thursday with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, joining more than 2,000 other celebrities to be enshrined in marble along the sidewalk of Hollywood Boulevard.

His chin will be enshrined in a separate ceremony.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 27, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 2:06 am UTC

U.S. Senate candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton told New Yorkers during an hour-long “town hall” meeting Wednesday that she is “willing to work with anybody” if elected in November.

That's easy to believe, considering with whom she's been living for all of these years.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 26, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 8:01 pm UTC

Elian Gonzalez's former kindergarten teacher and a 10-year-old male cousin have arrived in Washington from Cuba. In addition, his pediatrician and four other friends, each accompanied by one adult family member, will be arriving in the near future.

Once these people arrive, Elian will have more hangers-on than Sean “Puffy” Combs.

At this rate, Fidel Castro himself will be staying in the compound with Elian and his father by Memorial Day.

A government-appointed child psychiatrist who interviewed Elian, advised that before his Miami relatives see him they need to work out their differences with Elian's father. “The doctor reported that Elian needs to feel there is no tension between his family and his Miami relatives before any sort of extended family meeting,” a spokeswoman said. 

If all families were held to that standard, most families would never see each other.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 26, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 8:01 pm UTC

The New York Post reported on Wednesday that Darva Conger, the game-show bride who married multimillionaire Rick Rockwell on television may be ready to bare all for Playboy magazine for six figures. 

Rockwell is also considering posing nude as a way to promote his sagging career as a stand up comic – since that's pretty much the only way he's going to get any laughs.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 26, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 6:14 pm UTC

Vermont Gov. Howard Dean signed a first-in-the-nation law Wednesday granting gay couples the right to form civil unions, entitling them to nearly all of the benefits of marriage. 

Sounds like Ben and Jerry can now take their relationship to the next level.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 25, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 7:34 pm UTC

The parents of JonBenet Ramsey will not take lie detector tests arranged by the Boulder Police Department because the examiner who was to have administered the tests was not “fair and independent,” their lawyer said Tuesday. 

Apparently they weren't comfortable with the idea of being examined by Janet Reno.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 25, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 6:54 pm UTC

On Wednesday the Supreme Court will review a ruling by the New Jersey Supreme Court that said the Boy Scouts' dismissal of James Dale in 1990 because he was gay was illegal. 

The Boy Scouts claim that Dale was actually dismissed because he couldn't start a fire by rubbing two sticks together – at least not with the types of “sticks” he was using.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 25, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 4:59 pm UTC

A new study done on women indicates that following the Department of Agriculture's Food Guide Pyramid — eating mostly fruits, vegetables, grains and lean meats — can reduce the risk of death by about 30 percent. 

President Clinton is using this as a new pickup line – with emphasis on the part about eating “lean meats.”

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 24, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 4:18 pm UTC

Taking a break from the Elian Gonzalez crisis, Attorney General Janet Reno continued her annual tradition of reading “Voyage to the Bunny Planet” to children attending the White House Easter Egg Roll on Monday.

The story had a slightly different ending this year; all of the bunnies were subdued by federal agents with semi-automatic weapons.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 24, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 2:11 am UTC

Hall of Fame pitcher Nolan Ryan was recovering Sunday night after undergoing successful emergency double-bypass surgery at the Heart Hospital of Austin.

It was a little touch and go at first when Ryan tossed a scalpel high and tight at an anesthesiologist who was “crowding the gurney.”

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 22, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 9:02 am UTC

U.S. agents in riot gear and carrying rifles seized Elian Gonzalez from the home of his Miami relatives before dawn Saturday. 

They thought that Elian and all of those people outside the Miami home were protesting the World Bank.

Elian was being flown to Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland to be reunited with his father.

Elian's father was also seized that morning by government agents – for soliciting a prostitute.

The agents knocked three times and when there was no response they kicked in the door of the home. 

Actually, Elian's family did answer when the agents knocked, but they didn't believe them when they claimed to be the Publisher's Clearing House Prize Patrol.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 21, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 4:39 pm UTC

The wife of New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani will join the cast of the controversial off-Broadway play “The Vagina Monologues,” which was written by a friend and supporter of Giuliani's Senate opponent Hillary Clinton.

That's quite a coincidence, since Hillary's spouse has been starring in his own controversial off-Broadway show for a number of years, “The Vagina-Chaser Monologues.”

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 21, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 10:30 am UTC

Attorney General Janet Reno and the Justice Department are reviewing several scenarios for forcibly removing Elian Gonzalez from the care of his Miami relatives so that the 6-year-old boy can be reunited with his Cuban father, senior law enforcement sources said on Friday. 

The sources also said that Reno is probably just going to scale the building where Elian is staying and grab him through his bedroom window.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 20, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 5:17 pm UTC

The Cuban father of Elian Gonzalez appealed to all Americans, urging them to write and call President Clinton and Attorney General Janet Reno to help him get his son back. 

President Clinton said he encouraged letters from all concerned Americans. In fact, he added that they should feel free to include photos, particularly from those concerned “plus-sized” women. 

Juan Gonzalez said it was very painful for him and for his family to see “my son Elian being used and seeing the abuses that have been committed with regard to him” since Elian arrived in the United States five months ago. 

It was painful for all of us to watch Diane Sawyer interview Elian.

Meanwhile, Attorney General Janet Reno canceled a trip to Montana so she could discuss the case in Washington with her top aides. 

She was going to Montana on a fishing trip; she likes to just wade into shallow water and grab the fish with her bare hands.

Victorious in court, lawyers for Lazaro Gonzalez say Elian's great-uncle is now willing to take the boy anywhere in the country to see his father, although he would prefer that the meeting place take place in Florida “within driving distance.” 

If that doesn't work, then the family said their second choice would be someplace within “inner-tubing distance.”

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 20, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 9:53 am UTC

The union representing thousands of striking janitors in California rejected a contract proposal early Thursday that 18 cleaning contractors warned was their final offer. 

The thing that killed the deal was the part of the offer that said the janitors could have all of the free drinking water made from recycled toilet water they wanted.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 18, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 10:22 am UTC

Veteran rock star David Bowie and his wife, Somalian supermodel Iman, resorted to a traditional African custom to help her get pregnant after the celebrity couple strove for over a year for a baby. 

If that hadn't worked, they were going to try Bowie's preferred method for getting a woman pregnant – having a threesome with Mick Jagger.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 17, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 5:48 pm UTC

The Supreme Court, in one of a series of actions Monday, let stand a Southern California school district's decision to ban Edward DiLoreto, a Downey, California businessman, from putting the Ten Commandments on the Downey High School baseball field fence.

In the wake of this decision, DiLoreto has found another large, immobile object on which to place the Ten Commandments – Democratic Presidential candidate Al Gore.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 17, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 12:28 pm UTC

The State Department said Monday that a laptop computer that may have held classified information disappeared from the Bureau of Intelligence and Research about two months ago, and the FBI is investigating whether it was stolen.

In light of this event, the State Department is going to rename the department to the “Bureau of Not-Too-Much-Intelligence.”

Suspects include a group of contractors who had been renovating the area around the supposedly secure conference room where the laptop was last seen.

The contractors are also going to be questioned about the disappearance of a box of Dunkin' Donut Munchkins from the same conference room around the same time.

Another person familiar with the incident said the missing computer contained code-word information, a classification higher than top secret. 

The computer contained all of the code-words that the Secret Service uses for President Clinton's girlfriends.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 17, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 12:15 pm UTC

Fifteen years after giving up his license to kill as James Bond, British actor Roger Moore, now 72, will return to the screens again as a spy, London's Express newspaper reported on Monday. 

Moore will be starring in a remake of one of his more popular Bond films, “Octopussy,” which will be named “Octogenarian-pussy.”

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 16, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 3:42 pm UTC

On Saturday, Elian Gonzalez spoke on the phone for about 20 minutes with his Cuban father Juan Miguel Gonzalez, according to a published report Sunday. The Miami Herald was invited to observe the boy's reaction, and reported that Elian seemed reluctant to take the call at first.

Elian was angry that his father didn't use 1-800-COLLECT.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 14, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 5:46 pm UTC

CBS is working on a television movie about the young Cuban exile Elian Gonzalez who has become a pawn in a major international feud. 

If the movie is a hit, CBS is already planning to turn it into a series called “Everybody Loves Elian.”

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 13, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 4:24 am UTC

U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno has told Elian Gonzalez' great-uncle Lazaro Gonzalez to accompany Elian to Washington on Thursday so he can be reunited with his father, Juan Miguel Gonzalez, or she would enforce the order to hand the boy over.

Reno would not spell out how enforcement would take place, saying only “Anybody ever heard of 'Waco'?”

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 12, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 11:08 pm UTC

A harried “Ross” from the hit comedy “Friends” phoned a London radio show Wednesday to shoot down claims he and fellow cast members were demanding $1 million an episode. “When I hear figures like that I get a little upset,” David Schwimmer said. “It reflects poorly on the cast. People get this idea that we are this group of spoilt actors.”

Nobody believes that; they're clearly not actors.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 12, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 10:06 pm UTC

South Carolina state senators on Wednesday approved a bill to remove the Confederate flag from atop the Statehouse dome, a banner opponents say is racist but supporters insist is a symbol of Southern heritage. 

The flag will come down as soon as they can find an African-American to go up on the Statehouse roof to get it.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 12, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 12:19 pm UTC

Vice President Al Gore dodged questions Wednesday about whether he would consider pardoning President Clinton of potential criminal charges stemming from the Monica Lewinsky investigation if he were elected the next president.

Gore said, however, that he could never pardon Clinton for having such poor taste in women.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 12, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 1:14 am UTC

ABC is going ahead with a broadcast next week that shows President Clinton being interviewed on global warming by movie star Leonardo DiCaprio, a move which angered some at ABC who wondered why an actor was fulfilling a role usually handled by a journalist.

Traditional journalists were just jealous that Leo and Bill hit it off so well that after the interview they went cruising for chicks.

ABC was so impressed with DiCaprio's interviewing skill, that they're planning on adding him to their popular Sunday morning political show and renaming it “This Week with Sam Donaldson,  Cokie Roberts and Leo!”

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 11, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 9:52 pm UTC

During a hearing on the crash of EgyptAir Flight 990, the National Transportation Safety Board recommended that video recorders should be installed in the cockpits of commercial airplanes.

President Clinton later added that he would also like to see video recorders installed in the stewardesses' changing area.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 11, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 8:23 pm UTC

An Arizona school teacher who reported being shot in her empty classroom confessed to authorities that she shot herself. Teacher Kathy Morris had also sent herself threatening letters, Pima County sheriff's spokeswoman Deanna Coultas said Tuesday. 

She also confessed to giving herself a 'D' for poor grammar in the letters.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 11, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 7:55 pm UTC

Officials at St. Elizabeths Hospital in Washington say that presidential assailant John W. Hinckley Jr. has “sufficiently recovered” from his mental illness and should be granted unsupervised day-long visits with his parents.

Is that really good for him? Aren't most cases of mental illness caused by parents in the first place?

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 11, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 6:06 pm UTC

The Pentagon says it has no plans to reprimand anyone for the targeting error which resulted in a U.S. B-2 bomber attacking the Chinese Embassy in Belgrade last year.

Those responsible have been reassigned to NASA to help out with future Mars missions.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 11, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 7:34 am UTC

The Washington Post reported in Tuesday's editions that officials from the National Zoo returned from China on Sunday with a signed letter of intent under which China would rent two pandas to the zoo for 10 years. 

In another effort to win over Cuban-American voters, Al Gore said he supports the idea of making a similar deal with Cuba to keep Elian Gonzalez in the U.S., figuring that Elian shouldn't cost nearly as much as two giant pandas.

The Associated Press reported last week that details were being worked out to obtain new pandas and that it probably would cost an estimated $8 million to rent a couple from China for 10 years. 

As soon as the news broke, Donald Trump wanted to know if could get that same rate on a couple of Chinese escorts.

It could be more than a year before the pandas arrive in Washington because the zoo must first renovate its empty Panda House.

The Panda House project will be featured on the next season of “This Old House.”

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 11, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 3:13 am UTC

Amid rumors of drug abuse, Whitney Houston showed up Monday night at Arista Records' 25th anniversary tribute to her mentor, Clive Davis, and sat smiling in the audience during a medley by Barry Manilow.

The fact that she was able to smile through a medley by Barry Manilow proves that she must be on drugs.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 10, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 7:31 pm UTC

Montel Williams, the host of “The Montel Williams Show,” and his wife Grace have agreed to a divorce after seven years of marriage and two children, the television talk-show host said Monday.

She got tired of him always bringing his work home with him – like teen-aged, nymphomaniac prostitutes.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 10, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 2:19 pm UTC

Sen. John McCain today predicted that if Hillary Rodham Clinton is elected, she will be a “star” unlike any politician seen in the Senate since Robert F. Kennedy. 

He also guaranteed that as long as she can spell “potato” she'll be assured of not being the dumbest politician seen in the Senate since Dan Quayle.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 10, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 8:54 am UTC

Controversial author Ellis Amburn has claimed in an unauthorized biography of Elizabeth Taylor that her former husband Richard Burton was a closet homosexual.

Now we know the real reason that Burton married Taylor twice – so that he could be closer to Roddy McDowall.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 10, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 8:31 am UTC

Marking a major and unprecedented step in relations, it was announced on Monday that South Korean President Kim Dae-jung and North Korean leader Kim Jong Il will hold a June summit in North Korea.

This will be the first summit for either man at which he isn't the only leader named “Kim.”

The two countries are technically still at war after signing an armed truce at the end of the Korean War in 1953. 

This will be the first summit between warring leaders since Bill and Hillary Clinton had dinner together last July.

Kim Dae-jung — who implemented a policy of engagement regarding the North — has several times called for a summit.

If the summit goes well, he hopes to take a nice cruise with his North Korean counterpart, which he calls the “honeymoon policy.”

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 8, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 10:05 am UTC

President Clinton hosted a special White House screening on Friday of a new public television series, “The American President.”

His aides could only get him to watch it if he also got to watch that other new PBS series, “The History of American Pornography.”

Clinton said the series — five segments of two hours each – “can give people the feel for the character” of the presidency. It attempts to document the administrations of all 41 U.S. presidents.

The series producers had originally planned to show the Clinton presidency from a “White House intern's-eye-view,” but that plan was scrapped after they realized that they wouldn't get any good head shots.

Clinton predicted “that in the not-too-distant future, there will be a woman president.” 

In fact, Clinton says, he's already been “feeling out” potential female candidates.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 8, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 4:09 am UTC

Attorney General Janet Reno said Friday the government will give the Miami relatives of Elian Gonzalez instructions “early next week” on when and where the Cuban boy is to be turned over to his father. 

The drop site is expected to be trash can near the Orange Bowl.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 7, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 8:29 pm UTC

Striking janitors in Los Angeles won a court victory Friday as a judge denied a request for a restraining order seeking to prevent them from blocking the entrance to office buildings. 

The judge said that the janitors can block the entrance to office buildings so long as they sweep up while they're there.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 7, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 4:17 am UTC

Pop artist Peter Blake has organized an exhibition of work done by John Lennon and Paul McCartney at the Tate Gallery in Liverpool, featuring a cross-shaped collage by McCartney.

He made the collage cross-shaped in the hopes that it will keep Yoko Ono away.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 7, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 1:17 am UTC

After a week of being battered on Wall Street and in the courts, Microsoft Corp. is trying to build up its public image with a new television ad. The software giant unveiled an ad Thursday in which chairman Bill Gates, filmed on the Microsoft campus, talks directly to the camera as he discusses the company's past and future. Upbeat acoustic guitar music plays in the background. 

In the original version of the ad, Gates looked at himself in a mirror and said “I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, gosh darn it, people like me.”

In the ad, Gates makes no mention of U.S. District Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson, who ruled Monday that Microsoft had engaged in anticompetitive practices. 

Gates doesn't hold a grudge – he just has his engineers put some code into Windows that causes a pizza to be delivered to his enemies every time somebody hits the “Start” button.

The ruling sent Microsoft's stock tumbling.

In light of this, Gates and his wife had to do a little “belt-tightening,” so they decided to start making their own baby wipes – out of $100 bills.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 6, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 8:24 pm UTC

Comedian Jerry Seinfeld and bride Jessica Sklar are expecting their first child this fall, it was announced Thursday on TV's “Live With Regis and Kathie Lee.”

They figure that Kramer can be the nanny since he's over at Jerry's all the time anyway.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 6, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 5:02 pm UTC

Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan, who dismissed Al Gore as unelectable last fall, now says that the vice president is “eminently electable.”

What he actually meant by that was the only way Gore would be taking possession of the White House was by Eminent Domain.

“He changed his clothes. He changed his campaign headquarters and he changed his campaign and he's a very different Al Gore,” Moynihan said. “I don't recognize him.”

This has inspired Gore's handlers to come up with a new campaign slogan: “Vote for Al Gore – He's Not Really Al Gore.”

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 6, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 8:55 am UTC

Juan Miguel Gonzalez, father of Elian Gonzalez, arrived Thursday in the United States with his wife and infant son on a journey that raises the possibility he will be reunited with the 6-year-old boy.

It took a while, but eventually Gonzalez was able to find a pilot that would smuggle all three of them out of Cuba.

The father has said the only way he was willing to travel to the United States was if he could be assured that he would be able to take temporary custody of the boy from Elian's great-uncle in Miami, Lazaro Gonzalez, pending the outcome of legal appeals. 

The deal was really sealed when the U.S. State Department also agreed to take him to “Hooters.”

The elder Gonzalez and his family are scheduled to stay in Bethesda, Maryland, at the two-story brick home of Fernando Remirez, head of the Cuban diplomatic mission to the United States. 

The Baltimore Orioles have invited Elian's father to nearby Camden Yards so they can check out his arm.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 5, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 9:25 pm UTC

A judge annulled the made-for-TV marriage of millionaire Rick Rockwell and Darva Conger, who testified Wednesday she wasn't told about her groom's background before their on-air wedding. 

Nobody told her what a lousy comedian he was.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 4, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 1:29 am UTC

Two Russian cosmonauts are on their way to staff the empty Mir space station, on the first-ever piloted space mission funded by private investment.

Now that the cosmonauts are no longer government employees, they're actually going to have to do some work once they get to the station.

The mission is funded by Netherlands-based MirCorp, which hopes to turn a profit operating the 14-year-old orbiting outpost. Company officials said they are in active talks with a potential space tourist who would pay a travel fare of roughly $15 million. 

That may seem like a high price to pay, until you factor in the frequent flier miles from a single trip.

Mir, plagued by accidents in recent years, was to have been scrapped this year. The plan was to send it plunging toward Earth so that it burned up in the atmosphere. 

They had even lined up some NASA engineers to show them how to make the Mir burn up in the atmosphere, since NASA is pretty good at making spacecraft evaporate.

The task for the cosmonauts is to spruce up the station for possible future crews. 

They're going to put all of those empty vodka bottles out for recycling.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 4, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 1:14 am UTC

The Miami relatives of Elian Gonzalez are calling on U.S. officials to allow a team of independent psychologists to examine the 6-year-old Cuban immigrant before he is handed over to his father. 

He's already booked to appear with Dr. Laura and Dr. Katz on their TV shows.

The boy's father, Juan Miguel Gonzalez, is poised to travel from Cuba to the United States as early as Tuesday. 

He's got the inner tube all ready to go.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 3, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 3:10 pm UTC

Producer Aaron Spelling is donating every episode of Lucille Ball's last weekly TV series, “Life with Lucy,” to the Lucy-Desi Museum in the late comedian's hometown. “With Mr. Spelling's donation, the Lucy-Desi Museum can now offer visitors screenings of rarely seen 'Lucy' shows,” museum Director Ric Wyman said.

The museum has also acquired “rarely seen” episodes of other shows like “Hello, Larry,” and “After M*A*S*H.”

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 3, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 2:29 pm UTC

In a stinging rebuke, U.S. District Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ruled Monday that Microsoft Corp. “maintained its monopoly power by anticompetitive means and attempted to monopolize the Web browser market,” which violates the nation's antitrust laws.

Jackson also said it was the worst abuse of monopoly power he'd seen since Springfield nuclear power mogul Montgomery Burns tried to block out the sun on “The Simpsons.”

U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno praised the decision. “We are pleased that the court agreed with the department that Microsoft abused its monopoly power, that it violated the antitrust laws, and that it harmed consumers,” Reno said.

Reno also said that she was glad the government wouldn't have to resort to “Plan B”- a siege of Microsoft's headquarters by FBI agents.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 3, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 1:08 am UTC

Rasheed Wallace, the Portland Trail Blazers' leading scorer, set an NBA record for technical fouls in a season with 34 when he picked up two in succession and was ejected early in the second quarter of Sunday night's defeat of the Seattle SuperSonics.

Dennis Rodman continues to hold the NBA record for being the most foul in any season.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 2, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 2:29 pm UTC

Roger Moore, best known for his movie roles as James Bond, received a Hans Christian Andersen prize Sunday in honor of the famed fairy tale writer's 195th birthday.

This is fitting because Roger Moore looked to be about 195 years old when he last played James Bond.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 1, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 5:23 pm UTC

Britain's Prince William surprised hotel residents by taking part in singing the Village People hit, YMCA, in a karaoke singing competition at the Crossways Hotel in Durham, northern England, British newspapers said on Sunday. 

William wore the construction worker outfit, which he borrowed from his would-be stepmother, Camilla Parker-Bowles.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 1, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 4:52 pm UTC

Sir Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr spent the past six years working on the definitive book about life in the world's most famous band, entitled “Beatles Anthology,” according to the Sunday Telegraph.

Most of that time was spent teaching Ringo how to type. 

The 360-page book will be published in Britain and the United States this autumn and will cost about 50 pounds, raising about 1 billion pounds ($1.60 billion), the paper added. The money will be split equally between the three musicians and Yoko Ono, the widow of John Lennon, even though she has not been actively involved in the project.

She only gets the money if she promises to stop performing “I Am the Walrus” at Beatle reunions.

The paper also said the book would reveal that the three surviving Beatles rejected an offer of 110 million pounds ($175 million) in 1996 to play 17 concerts in the United States, Germany and Japan.

They rejected this offer when they realized that it would require each of them to slim down enough to fit into those famous Beatle suits.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 1, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 5:36 am UTC

Kathleen Turner is once again baring all for audiences in a London stage production of “The Graduate,” nearly 20 years after she became sex personified in “Body Heat” with curves men drooled over.

This time, the only drooling going on is when Ms. Turner eats.

The audience gasped when Turner showed all at a recent preview.

They gasped at how much more of her there was to show than there was 20 years ago.

-Chum    [link | comment]

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April 1, 2000.
  Web Posted at: 12:05 am UTC

The Los Angeles District Attorney's office has filed a misdemeanor charge against actress Halle Berry for leaving the scene of an auto accident. Berry's attorney, Blair Berk, said the actress was “pleased by the D.A's determination that felony charges should be rejected and are not justified in connection with this unfortunate traffic accident.”

The D.A.'s office is still considering filing felony charges over her performance in “The Flintstones.”

-Chum    [link | comment]

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