Get Email Updates

By FeedBlitz
Feeds


Add to Google
Subscribe in Bloglines
Search Me
Archives
November 2011
August 2011
July 2011
June 2011
May 2011
April 2011
March 2011
February 2011
January 2011
December 2010
November 2010
October 2010
September 2010
August 2010
July 2010
June 2010
May 2010
April 2010
March 2010
February 2010
January 2010
December 2009
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
May 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
December 2008
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
June 2002
May 2002
April 2002
March 2002
February 2002
January 2002
December 2001
November 2001
October 2001
September 2001
August 2001
July 2001
June 2001
May 2001
April 2001
March 2001
February 2001
January 2001
December 2000
November 2000
October 2000
September 2000
August 2000
July 2000
June 2000
May 2000
April 2000
March 2000
February 2000
January 2000
December 1999
November 1999
October 1999
September 1999
August 1999
July 1998

Creative Commons License
This work by Chumworth is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
October 31, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-31
  • the kids are already insane and they haven't had any candy yet. adding extra valium to my coffee… #
  • ok, time to carve the pumpkin. best to work with sharp blades before the halloween drinking has started. #
  • almost time for a pre-trick or treating party down the street. my liver is ready. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 30, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-30
  • joe buck looks more like max headroom every year. #
  • coincidentally, i have the exact same hairdo as pedro martinez. #
  • the cat's bitching at me again. aren't pets supposed to be enjoyable? #
  • the only thing missing from the world series so far is a few more nike swooshes. well, that and a streaker. #
  • uh oh, pedro coughs up another dinger. might be time for him to throw yogi berra to the ground to get the fire back. #
  • Henry Louis Gates and James Crowley were spotted at a pub in Cambridge, having a drink. At this rate their next meeting will be in rehab. #
  • watch out – i'm in the zone! could also be gas. #
  • a certain someone in my household will be turning a certain age on sunday that rhymes with "zen." god help me. #
  • new IT Underworld cartoon posted! where the wild things are, part 2: http://tinyurl.com/ycvt5j3 #
  • friday boozing be underway! #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 29, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-29
  • if fox was smart they'd have ozzie guillen announce the world series all by himself. i could listen to him ramble on all night long. #
  • i think yogi just goosed michelle obama. #
  • looks like the phillies have big armpit sweat stains. the yankees have a big lead in the style department. #
  • just had a major health scare: i thought i was bleeding out of my belly button, but it turned out to be red lint. #
  • looks like if it starts raining hard enough at yankee stadium they can always cover the infield with cc sabthia's pants. #
  • once again the tooth fairy forgot to make a delivery last night and once again the tooth fairy has vowed to quit drinking. #
  • Today in Pakistan Hillary Clinton had a testy exchange with a student. She got so mad that out of habit she told him to sleep on the couch. #
  • tonight's plan: beer, food, work, cartooning, joke writing, baseball, survivor, put trash out, chauffeur 9 yr old to play rehearsal, crash. #
  • just for the record, my neighbor is a total asshole. it's on! #
  • the 7 year old just announced that she had to "toot the trumpet." #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 28, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-28
  • finally, now i can finish off my glenn beck halloween cartoon. #
  • joe lieberman vows to filibuster a public option? did he suffer head trauma recently? he just made the list. #
  • waiting for 9 year old's suessical the musical rehearsal to end, i.e. solidifying my grip on father of the year award (again). #
  • my glenn beck halloween cartoon is up! you say tomato: http://tinyurl.com/yhwty3h #
  • Today NASA launched the world's tallest rocket, the 327-foot-tall Ares I-X. So, apparently, somebody at NASA is compensating for something. #
  • looks like god and the angels are urinating pretty hard out there over boston right now. #
  • another fine work day mercifully comes to an end. now home to deal with kid chaos. #
  • home from work! time to change out of formal work attire (jeans) to casual home gear (fleece pants). #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 27, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-27
  • wow – the 7 year old almost caused a massive and messy toilet overflow. she narrowly avoided being put up on ebay. #
  • my glenn beck halloween cartoon is coming along nicely! just drawing him gives me gas. #
  • me and my fellow commuters are training it into work yet again. you can smell the misery in the air. #
  • screw this. i am now going for lunch. #
  • didn't wear my watch today. i feel naked. could also be the lack of pants. #
  • head about to explode once again. need beer – and salad. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 27, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 6:55 pm UTC
You Say Tomato

You Say Tomato

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: , , ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 26, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-26
  • look at me writing jokes for @jimmyfallon tonight. let the rejection continue! #
  • clearly all blues songs were written on monday mornings. #
  • i admit it – i don't understand the news feed/live feed difference on facebook. and i went to college. #
  • i am in no way, shape or form prepared for monday. #
  • A new report finds that one in three American workers has at least one symptom of depression. The symptom? Unemployment. #
  • once again i am giving up. #
  • i mean, i am really giving up this time. #
  • 9 year old is negotiating the invite list to her birthday party with her mom, which explains the crying and yelling. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 25, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-25
  • school halloween function over! now at home snuggled up with a beer. #
  • whoever invented the easy open, resealable tab on the oreos container should get a nobel prize. #
  • it is time deal with the ridiculous amount of leaves already on my lawn. could take me all morning to blow them onto my neighbor's lawn. #
  • sorry vikings fans – you were due to play a real team. that was fun! now time to prep chicken for grilling… #
  • here's the evening plan: drink beer, grill/eat chicken, drink beer, watch baseball, drink beer, draw cartoon making fun of glenn beck, bed. #
  • the bengals are kicking the crap out of the bears, but the bungles still look like an AFL2 team in those uniforms. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 24, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-24
  • uh oh – yoko just came on the screen. kids want know to who she is. that's advanced beatles learning; they're not ready yet. #
  • now watching a show on the history of cold cuts. perhaps it's time for bed. #
  • big day of farting around coming up. #
  • just bought bananas at BJs, which seems fitting. #
  • channel 38 is showing "sunday with the stooges" which is awesome – except that it's saturday. #
  • taking the kids to a big halloween fest at their school tonight. hopefully there will be adult beverages for the adults. #
  • time to go to halloween event at the kids school. boozing will have to wait a bit. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 23, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-23
  • ever take tupperware out of the drawer, put some leftover food in it and put the tupperware back in the drawer? me neither. #
  • this angels pitcher is anything but lackey-adaisical tonight! #
  • anybody else have trouble sleeping last night, knowing that windows 7 would be released today? speaking of: http://tinyurl.com/ygkc58q #
  • oh christ, here it comes – another work day. fridays should always be quiet and low-key, by law. #
  • i need my happy place music. or a drink. #
  • honestly, i am working way too hard for a friday. it's like having too many notes in an opera. yes, too many notes. #
  • i've been ordered to start drinking. #
  • new IT Underworld cartoon: You may be on Facebook, but you're still no Rockefeller: http://tinyurl.com/yjkqhbq #
  • the brakes on this commuter train seem a little, uh, soft. perhaps i should i get off at this station… #
  • almost to my home station. next stop: the liquor store. #
  • <!— here we go! watching the beatles anthology with the kids. they love the fab four. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 22, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-22
  • the nine year old may have strep throat. again. she may have to stay home from school again tomorrow. she's happy as a clam. #
  • catching up on curb your enthusiasm. just watching the seinfeld reunion show. larry david is the best. the best! #
  • went to the barber tonight. barber now had a big new TV that was showing glenn beck. time for a new barber. #
  • guy in commercial won't talk to his doctor about ED, but he doesn't mind talking to a reflection of himself in public about ED. makes sense. #
  • bad news fellow commuter train riders: i have boogers. #
  • warning: my douchebag tolerance is way low this morning. #
  • it's leftover burrito for lunch day! my life is sad. #
  • these pretzels are making me thirsty. #
  • busy evening ahead: beer drinking, dinner, baseball, survivor, work, cartooning, dumping kids in bed, etc. and etc. #
  • about to whip up a mongo egg white omelet for mrs chumworth and i. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 21, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-21
  • i'm very tempted to fly to anaheim right now just to straighten cc sabathia's cap. #
  • once again i am trying to watching baseball and once again PAT SAJACK is featured prominently behind home plate. he's giving me gas. #
  • ok, i'm ready to grab this work day by the balls and wrestle it into submission! ha. not really. #
  • look, i wrote a whole feature article for ITWorld.com about the WIndows 7 launch! http://tinyurl.com/ygkc58q #
  • ok, i need a princess charming to take me away from all this. #
  • ok, i'm done fooling around. time for some serious coffee. #
  • fact: our first lady looks hot doing the hula hoop thing: http://tinyurl.com/yjmesfl #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 20, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-20
  • just spotted pat sajack sitting behind home plate at the angels game. how long has he been dead? #
  • baseball! #
  • it's not looking good for a yankee sweep at this point. #
  • sherlock holmes: i'm in! #
  • got a date with my submarine book. #
  • based on how this day is going i'm strongly considering floating off in a mylar balloon. #
  • the commuter train is all jiggly and vibraty today. i may just stay on for a few extra stops. #
  • steaming vegetables for dinner. still living dream. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 19, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-19
  • once again we tried the family dinner thing and once again it ended in disaster. when will we learn? #
  • i have so much to do today i don't know where to start. well, let's begin at the beginning: pour coffee down pants. #
  • honestly, it's not fair that i get to have this much fun at work. why am i so blessed? #
  • heading home to beer, meatloaf and monday night football. #
  • this train ride is making me gassy. #
  • much as it pains me, i need to ditch my dave avatar, much has he ditched me. time for a new look. any suggestions for a replacement? #
  • came home to find a check from @jimmyfallon for a joke last month! thanks jimmy! i will start submitting again next week. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 18, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-18
  • here's the sunday plan: coffee, housecleaning, football, comedy writing, beer. #
  • topless bathroom cleaning is about to commence. #
  • sorry brownie fans – time for your weekly beat down. #
  • touchdown! yawn. #
  • ok, fine, i meant field goal! still: yawn. #
  • is it just me or does brett favre still play with a boyish enthusiasm? #
  • ok, it is SNOWING again north of boston. STOP THIS MADNESS!!! why am i being punished? #
  • oh you poor browns fans. poor bastards. but hey – we won! #
  • the 7 year old got a certificate from school saying that she graduated "Magna Hand Laude from Hand Washing College! how proud am i? #
  • the tennessee titans are about to go 0-6. that's what they get for stomping on the terrible towel last season. suck it, titans! #
  • the house is awash in the smell of meatloaf. #
  • why the hell would the pats leave tom brady in this game? dumb move. he should already be at home snuggling with gisele. #
  • pats up 45-0 at half, come out in the second half with tom brady throwing. ha! bill belichick: classy as ever. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 17, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-17
  • the 7 year old and i just ate pizza and watched kung fu panda. she's happy as a clam. parenting is easy! #
  • ok, new IT Underworld cartoon posted: http://tinyurl.com/ygzymxe #
  • boy, the angels look about as sloppy as amy winehouse. #
  • baseball players that wear those head socks – or even elmer fudd hats – should immediately be fined and/or suspended. embarrassing. #
  • sprinkler system being winterized; sounds like the house is farting. #
  • car #1 needs a new battery and four new tires! this week keeps getting better. yet another kick right in the jewels. #
  • friends are coming by with their newborn baby today and mrs chumworth is on cloud nine. best she gets it out of her system vicariously. #
  • 17 October and the supermarket is already out of candy corn. un-freaking-acceptable! #
  • CAPTAIN LOU ALBANO DIED THREE DAYS AGO?!?! why didn't somebody tell me this? throw me a bone, here. #
  • we're almost out of scotch tape. those of you with young children will realize what a crisis this is. #
  • both kids are at birthday parties. the house is … quiet. boy, could i get used to this. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 16, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-16
  • the chumworths have decided to have a holiday party this year! always a good time. i'd better alert the authorities now. #
  • it is snowing out north of boston. unacceptable! i blame the blue dogs. #
  • daddy needs a toaster waffle. #
  • what's worse than a flax-seed toaster waffle? a burnt flax-seed toaster waffle. #
  • i may not survive today, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. #
  • somebody please put me out of my misery now. #
  • <– boy oh boy do i need this. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 15, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-15
  • thanks to the fact that bud selig is still an idiot, i have to wait yet another night for playoff baseball to resume. #
  • ok, my nipples shouldn't be anywhere near this erect in mid-october. #
  • taking a deep breath before diving into the work pool. a nice stiff drink would be more helpful. #
  • mrs chumworth threatened to call the police on our kids last night. i had already dialed 9 and 1 before i figured out she was joking. #
  • oh geez, why did i just eat that? #
  • watch out fellow train commuters: i have some serious gas. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 14, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-14
  • time to end this ridiculously bad day by snuggling up with my latest submarine disaster book in bed. #
  • my fellow commuters don't smell as bad this morning. perhaps today will be better than yesterday! #
  • note to radio talk show hosts: when discussing football, it's probably best not to use the term "eat clock". too much potential for trouble. #
  • honestly, i am working way too hard. i was born to be a man of leisure. #
  • heading home to trade work chaos for kid chaos. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 13, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-13
  • the nine year old is always shoving papers in front of me to be signed. i just sign without looking. what could go wrong? #
  • watching rockies and phillies. am i the only one who still has a hard time remembering that colorado has a baseball team? #
  • look at the phillies catcher sitting on the ground. tony pena invented that move back in the day. tony! sorry, it's the champagne talking. #
  • nice hit by jason giambi, but what the hell is on his face? i guess steroids can mess with you ability to shave properly. #
  • today is not starting well. it's dark & rainy and the guy in the seat in front of me on the train is wearing cologne that smells like feet. #
  • i'm at work. it's already obvious that i should have worn a cup today. #
  • ok, who broke the lid on the work coffee pot? gonna make pouring a lot harder. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 12, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-12
  • the good news: i am home with the kids today. the bad news: i am home ALONE with the kids today. #
  • it's flu shot day! #
  • taking the kids out to lunch. i'll just put it on their tabs. #
  • ok, just got my flu shot. feel free to sneeze on me. #
  • new cartoon: you know you're indecisive when… http://tinyurl.com/yzc8ygg #
  • we're about to attempt family dinner. with enough alcohol for mom and dad, we may get through it. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 12, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 2:54 pm UTC
You Know You’re Indecisive When…

You Know You're Indecisive When...

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: , , , ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 11, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-11
  • <— beer! #
  • about to broil some fish. not that I need any brain food. #
  • sunday – the day god created for cleaning the litter box. #
  • just took the air conditioners out for the winter. it was a success; i'm only bleeding in a couple of spots. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 10, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-10
  • i have agreed to a family game of uno. clearly, i am getting loaded. #
  • a few more drinks and i'll be leaving a flaming bag of dog shit on the late show stoop. #
  • i started the day with oatmeal, now i am ending it with oatmeal. #
  • paying the bills and watching hannah montana with the girls. not sure which is more painful. #
  • well, i have paid the bills for one more week. it was a magic trick worthy of david blaine. #
  • polishing off big late night afternoon coffee before beer drinkin commences. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 9, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-09
  • brownie breath. who has it? i do. #
  • coffee makes everything better. or, at least, it's makes things bearable until beer can be had to really makes things better. #
  • normally i would be noodling up obama wins nobel peace prize jokes right about now. may need to get my late show tattoo removed. #
  • work is like quicksand: the more you try get out of it, the more you get sucked in. it's best to remain motionless and pray for a miracle. #
  • Earlier today Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Meanwhile, in Arizona, John McCain won at Keno. #
  • rushing home to my family and my beer. #
  • <— time for some of this. it's because of weeks like this that god invented booze. #
  • time for another IT Underworld cartoon caption contest. $25 amazon gift card on the line! http://tinyurl.com/yfd5osq #
  • one beer down and i am getting more charming by the minute. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 8, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-08
  • ok, might as well make this official: i have been relieved of my writing duties for dave letterman. more details to come… #
  • thank for the kind words all! i appreciate it. more details on what happened to come. now time for some desperately needed beauty sleep. #
  • so, letterman is dropping freelancers left and right. nothing beats getting the boot from (essentially) a volunteer job. #
  • well, no point in checking the news anymore. may as well unplug my TV, cancel the newspaper subscription and move into a cave. #
  • listening to carly simon sing "nobody does it better" and imagining it's about me. it's not working. #
  • ok, guess i should take all of the energy i put into joke writing and redirect it towards doing good for others. ha, who am i kidding? #
  • it's always somewhat embarrassing to eat a banana in public. #
  • ok, it's been 24 hours since dave dumped me and they haven't come crawling back. i'm starting to think they're serious. #
  • i can collect unemployment after getting canned from a part-time freelance job, right? #
  • one day not writing mono jokes and i'm already out of the loop on the news. is bill clinton still president? #
  • well, the phillies deserve to win this game based on having much sweeter uniforms. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 7, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-07
  • i'm ending my day like it began: gassy. #
  • nice job by them twinkies beating the tigers. jim leyland blows it again. #
  • 8:43am and i am already swamped. going to my happy place… #
  • ok, i'm even being swamped with work in my happy place. there's no winning. #
  • not sure i will survive this work day. #
  • no jokes sent to dave today. second time this week. could be a trend. i'm eating a banana. #
  • well, ok, then. just had an interesting phone call. details to come. looks like i'll more free time in my evenings. #
  • now, here's a headline i never thought i'd see: Steelers' Mendenhall named AFC Offensive Player of the Week #
  • happy place, happy place, happy place. #
  • boy oh boy, i should not have eaten that. #
  • just when I thought this day couldn't suck more, it just started to suck more. #
  • since my pirates just barely – flukishly – missed the playoffs this year, i will root for the twins, in honor of my minnesota relatives. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 6, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-06
  • looks like ESPN is finally done blowing brett favre. time for kickoff! #
  • here's one for dave today: "I apologize if I seem a little cranky tonight. This morning I woke up on the wrong side of the couch." #
  • ok, i'm ready for my daily work beat-down. #
  • 10 jokes sent to dave letterman today; 4 of them about him. #
  • this day is really starting to swirl around the toilet bowl. i think we all know what that means. #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 5, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Updates for 2009-10-05
  • seems like the commuter rail wifi had its coffee this morning! me, on the other hand, could use some coffee down the pants. #
  • i have more snacks and beverages on my desk than i do work related material. that says it all. #
  • Miners in South Africa recently found a 507 carat diamond. Here's how big it is: it's so big that Kobe Bryant has started dating again. #
  • i have to buy notecards for the 9 year old on the way home. she needs them for homework. when i was a kid we didn't have such luxuries. #
  • inking in a cartoon, drinking wine and trying to write kelly ripa birthday jokes all at once. i am the master of multitasking. #
  • just finished and submitted a new @ITUnderworld cartoon about google wave. time now focus on jokes. dave tapes two shows tomorrow. #
  • well, i came into work, mainly because told me i had to. #
  • mono topic of the week on letterman: skunks. nothing beats writing brazen skunk jokes. #
  • when in doubt, have lunch, i always say. #
  • another work day, another ass kicking. #
  • allow me to sum up my work day: ass kicked, name taken. #
  • just put the trash out. still living the dream. #
  • the 9 year old is back from musical rehearsal. now she's shoveling ice cream down her gullet. it's quite a sight. #
  • dear starbucks: you're perfect oatmeal is far from it. way too watery. please rename it so other people don't get fooled. #
  • nobody else in the house will eat the delicious batch of shake n bake pork chops i made this week. i'm thinking of ebaying the leftovers. #
  • Friday afternoon. Let the games begin! #
  • ok – it's official: I am in new orleans. let's have some fun! #
  • hey look – they serve alcohol in NOLA… #
  • ok, after drinking beer all day and evening and eating a "Cajun salad" for dinner, I don't feel so hot. #
  • up too early in NOLA. time to forage for food. still haven't sighted a fruit or vegetable here – unless it was deep fried I didn't notice. #
  • in NOLA playing cards. beer drinking will soon commence. #
  • to be perfectly honest, bourbon street doesn't exactly smell fresh as a daisy. #
  • just had a very tasty dinner in NOLA – and none of it was fried. #
  • sadly, it is time to leave NOLA. my liver could use the break. #
  • they just announced my flight home is delayed by 10 minutes. I assume they will serve us filet mignon to make up for it. #
  • now on the plane. i assume they'll be coming around to give complimentary foot massages once we reach our cruising altitude. #
  • wheels down in beantown. watch out, family – daddy will be home soon! #
  • TOUCHDOWN!!!!!!!! not bad, boys. let's keep it up. #
  • i've said it before and i'll say it again: no football team will ever win a title with a coach named "norv". #steelers #
  • hey look – another touchdown!!!!!!! this is fun! boy, the chargers suck. #steelers #
  • i had no idea this was chargers' bye week. who knew? #steelers #
  • oh baby there's another six! i am embarrassed for my charger fan friends. #steelers #
  • 28-0!!!!!! suck on that, philip rivers. i'm going to bed. #steelers #
  • it's nobel prize season! i think this is my year – finally. #
  • Cowabunga! It's my IT Underworld cartoon on Google Wave: http://tinyurl.com/ybkrdhn #
  • didn't submit any jokes to letterman today. very unusual. i blame a weekend in new orleans. #
  • this says it all: RT @JDCrowetoons @chumworth Some of the best ideas I never had happened while in NOLA #
  • i bought our girls each a voodoo doll from new orleans. it seemed like a good idea, until i saw how well they took to the concept. #
  • this captures my feelings on the letterman fooling around thing quite perfectly: http://tinyurl.com/yjozhf2 #
  • my financial guy just sent our "wealth outlook report" with a snapshot of our "retirement planning success." this should be funny – and sad. #
  • ahh – back home to my good boston beer (i.e. harpoon). sorry, new orleans, but that abita beer sucks. #
  • just ate 10 day old leftover sausage calzone for dinner. what could go wrong? #
  • that's hot! RT @JDCrowetoons Blazing Paddles teaser for tomorrow's "Spank" toon http://pic.gd/b02568 http://bit.ly/4iFpJj #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
October 4, 2009.
  Web Posted at: 7:00 pm UTC
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-10-04
  • uh… i call fix. #steelers #
  • ok, there's some critter living in our barn. might be time to move. #
  • it was a skunk in the barn! left the door open, just saw him leave. the women folk were duly impressed with my bravery. #
  • today sucked, so now i really can't wait to see how badly monday is going to blow. #
  • not only is it monday, but i have to go to the dentist – and i am home with the kids all day. what have i done to deserve such suffering? #
  • time to go to the dentist. pinch me – i must be dreaming! #
  • tweeting from the dentist's chair. he scraped the gunk off my teeth and has now disappeared, leaving me wearing a bib. #
  • back from the dentist. teeth and gums are stellar! yet, i didn't get a sticker. wtf? #
  • the kids are making a helluva ruckus downstairs. time for the one sure fire solution: food. well, aside from duct tape. that works too. #
  • dear work: please stop kicking my ass. it is really getting sore. have a heart. #
  • just got another check from dave letterman! that's going right into one of the following: retirement savings, college savings or beer money. #
  • what a beautiful day out there! i hearby grant all gentlemen in the boston area the "pants optional right" for the remainder of the day. #
  • we're heading out to dinner. the whole family. at a restaurant. in public. pray for me. #
  • survived dinner out with kids. or, rather, they survived. it was looking dicey there for a while. #
  • wade phillips needs a bra. or a bro. or a manzier. #mnf #
  • new cartoon: W was only off by one letter: http://tinyurl.com/ycg376j #
  • Sarah Palin has finished her memoir. It's the first political memoir that features a pull-out centerfold. #
  • clementines! yummy. #
  • Sarah Palin has finished her memoir. It won't be published until November, but excerpts will be published before then in Guns & Ammo. #
  • dear bank of america: your new ATMs that read checks being deposited keep rejecting my checks. bring back deposits by envelope. bitches. #
  • hello to my new twitter buddies at the LA Times! must be something in the water out there today. #
  • the 7 year old is trying to teach mrs chumworth some sort of card game that involves slapping. little kids are like drunk people. #
  • i'm drawing a cartoon and eating nilla wafers. how old am i? sad. #
  • the cat's snoring. that means it's time for bed. #
  • seems like the commuter rail wifi had its coffee this morning! me, on the other hand, could use some coffee down the pants. #
  • i have more snacks and beverages on my desk than i do work related material. that says it all. #
  • Miners in South Africa recently found a 507 carat diamond. Here's how big it is: it's so big that Kobe Bryant has started dating again. #
  • i have to buy notecards for the 9 year old on the way home. she needs them for homework. when i was a kid we didn't have such luxuries. #
  • inking in a cartoon, drinking wine and trying to write kelly ripa birthday jokes all at once. i am the master of multitasking. #
  • just finished and submitted a new @ITUnderworld cartoon about google wave. time now focus on jokes. dave tapes two shows tomorrow. #
  • well, i came into work, mainly because told me i had to. #
  • mono topic of the week on letterman: skunks. nothing beats writing brazen skunk jokes. #
  • when in doubt, have lunch, i always say. #
  • another work day, another ass kicking. #
  • allow me to sum up my work day: ass kicked, name taken. #
  • just put the trash out. still living the dream. #
  • the 9 year old is back from musical rehearsal. now she's shoveling ice cream down her gullet. it's quite a sight. #
  • dear starbucks: you're perfect oatmeal is far from it. way too watery. please rename it so other people don't get fooled. #
  • nobody else in the house will eat the delicious batch of shake n bake pork chops i made this week. i'm thinking of ebaying the leftovers. #
  • Friday afternoon. Let the games begin! #
  • ok – it's official: I am in new orleans. let's have some fun! #
  • hey look – they serve alcohol in NOLA… #
  • ok, after drinking beer all day and evening and eating a "Cajun salad" for dinner, I don't feel so hot. #
  • up too early in NOLA. time to forage for food. still haven't sighted a fruit or vegetable here – unless it was deep fried I didn't notice. #
  • in NOLA playing cards. beer drinking will soon commence. #
  • to be perfectly honest, bourbon street doesn't exactly smell fresh as a daisy. #
  • just had a very tasty dinner in NOLA – and none of it was fried. #
  • sadly, it is time to leave NOLA. my liver could use the break. #
  • they just announced my flight home is delayed by 10 minutes. I assume they will serve us filet mignon to make up for it. #
  • now on the plane. i assume they'll be coming around to give complimentary foot massages once we reach our cruising altitude. #
  • wheels down in beantown. watch out, family – daddy will be home soon! #

Powered by Twitter Tools

-Chum    [link | comment]

Tags: ,

Be Sociable, Share!
Follow chumworth on Twitter